Spit Bump and Scream and Beg For More

I won’t be able to make it unfortunately, but if you’re at a loose end this weekend why not head along to Skull Juice’s brand new night:

Great flyer, huh?

Also featuring rising electro star Kissy Sell Out (AKA Tommy Bisdee), whose recent single ‘Her’ has been a bit of a dancefloor smash. It has more than a little Justice-ness about it. Which is no bad thing.

KISSY SELL OUT - HER

Speaking of Justice, Skull Juice themselves have some new Ed Banger tunes for you to download. Go pay ‘em a visit.

If I was around this weekend i’d also go to this:

Metronomy! RadioClit! Absentee! Apartment! And fuckin UK ‘Me Is Original Nuttah’ APACHE!!!!

Classic doesn’t even start to cover it!

UK APACHE & SHY FX - ORIGINAL NUTTAH

I was sure i’d posted this before, but seems I haven’t.

I seem to remember when this came out UK Apache became a bit of a pariah on the Jungle scene for supposedly selling out… appearing on Top of The Pops etc. Well if this rude boy track is selling out then i’m moving into Asda. Twelve years on this sounds as thrilling as ever…. from the ‘Goodfellas’ sample, to the way he drops a bit of Cockney into the Patois at the start (always makes me smile), to the sirens, rolling bass & fierce drums.

Amen to that!

You could have been a goalkeeper.

Christ, what an ordeal Switzerland vs Ukraine was. Even the penalty shoot-out was boring.

It made me feel rather like this in fact:

Hopefully this might help you recover from that dreadful match. It’s a new remix by Alan Braxe. Yay!

It starts out like some kind of German trance record from 10 years ago (think: Eye Q; Sven Vath; Platypus; 2 Full Moons & a Trout) and then segues into some massively distorted synths sounding rather reminiscent of Vitalic - with a radio-friendly vocal over the top. Braxe really does have that popular touch, and if it wasn’t for all the distortion you could imagine this hitting Top of the Pops. Thankfully, however, it remains just fucked up enough that you can enjoy it without alcopops, a Hackett shirt and a scrap outside the kebab shop.

Well the Vitalic comparisons are apt, since it turns out that the record is released on Vitalic’s own label - Citizen Records. Perhaps Pascal leant his chums some machines or something?


JOHN LORD FONDA - SO FAR AWAY (ALAN BRAXE REMIX)

You can hear the original version on John Lord Fonda’s myspace page. It sounds even more Vitalic-like than this remix. So go check it out.

I’ve just watched the first episode of Saxondale, the new series by Steve Coogan. It was pretty funny I thought. He does come across as part Alan Partridge, part Paul Calf - but as the characters develop I can see this turning into a good little series. Steve Coogan does have an incredible skill of bringing characters to life, and i’m already intrigued about what’s gonna happen next in this. It’s about time there was something funny on the telly…..

“I took no pleasure in that, it was an act of mercy”

Anyone for Cuy?

Having realised I hadn’t updated my ‘Featured Artists’ links for about a year, I thought i’d better do so. So I have. I’ve also added a few new blogs on the right, one of which you should visit immediately.

Detroit Is For Lovers is a new Detroit techno blog, and has just put up one of my all time favourite tracks - ‘Don’t You Want It’ by Davina. I posted it myself a good while back, but if you’ve not heard it go & download….

Right then, better sit down & prepare myself for England vs Ecuador. And if I hear one more time about how they eat Guinea Pig in Ecuador i’ll scream. They’re eaten in PERU not Ecuador. I can’t really recommend them either. Not only does its little face look up at you from the plate, but there’s an awful lot of bones & not a lot of meat.

So I have a very bad feeling about this afternoon’s game - unsurprising given England’s atrocious performances so far, and the anticipated heat for the game (35 degrees!). We’re definitely one of the poorest sides to qualifty for the second round, and watching the incredible Argentina vs Mexico game last night you realise quite how one-dimensional our play is.

But you never know.. since the last round Sven might have suddenly turned into a good manager!!!

COME ON ENGLAND!!!!!!!

Gymkahna Girls

What a game Australia vs Croatia was tonight. Nailbiting tension, goalkeeping howlers, desperation, farcical refereeing, more nailbiting tension, and plenty more comedy refereeing (from England’s only representative on the pitch!) all wrapped up in constant end-to-end action. That was bloody great that was. The World Cup started for real right there.

Since we’re celebrating the dark side of the earth, it would be a good time to say ‘g’day’ to a band introduced to me by Jen, my ears to the ground in New Zealand

Now I was a little sceptical at first, since music in New Zealand was actually stopped by the Government in 1987, when Vanilla Ice was number one. That quirk of fate has led to ‘Ice Ice Baby’, and number two single at the time, Salt ‘n’ Pepa’s ‘Push It’ to be played on rotation ever since in every pub and club on the islands, in the mistaken belief that they are still ‘top of the pops’.

Under these testing circumstances it’s quite remarkable then that Jen’s Auckland Idols are actually…… bloody marvellous.

Giddy up yerself!

Hell yeah, this first track is a real romper stomper of a party , despite or in fact because of the vocoder-heavy vocals. Cher’s not gonna spoil our fun!! Yeah it makes me want to breakout, jump into a space invader and blow the shizzle out of some asteroids. All while shimmying from side to side dance dance revolution style. Powerpill!

NORTH SHORE PONY CLUB - COMPUTER GAMES

The single is accompanied by a rather marvellous video - which I think you should watch and enjoy. It looks like it cost very many dollars (although it might well have been done on the cheap).

As if that wasn’t enough, the band sent me another gangbuster* song, and it’d be rude of me not to post that up also. This one dispenses with the vocoders, and is a hot piece of Disco Punk with the emphasis on the Disco rather than the Punk. I could imagine Optimo getting in a sweat over this.

NORTH SHORE PONY CLUB - THE SEQUEL

I believe some of the samples are from ‘Grease’ in case you start scratching your head and racking your brains as I did.

Now if there’s one thing you can call me it’s predictable. So it’s time for the other pre-teen Groucho. But this is not just for the convenience of having a similar name, oh no, for Lahndan Taaahn’s New Young Pony Club are probably the band i’ve enjoyed most this year that i’ve not yet mentioned here. Shit i love these guys. Like THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS much.

The band have released 3 singles thus far - the first two coming out on Tirk Records - also home to Maurice Fulton (as Syclops) and headphonesex heroes Fujiya & Miyagi.

2004’s debut single is essentially an electroey version of Kelis’ ‘Milkshake’. But being from London rather than LA the milkshake has frozen into an icier concoction.

NEW YOUNG PONY CLUB - ICE CREAM

If this recent b-side is anything to go by, the band seem to be perfecting their art. Since the debut single the band have acquired, well, a band! And this sounds a bit less ‘machine’ than Ice Cream. It still sounds like it would be best accompanied by dry ice and strobes though.

NEW YOUNG PONY CLUB - GET DANCEY

I’m tired & I gotta go to bed. Just download these ya crazy fools.

This Night Has Opened My Ears

I’ve noticed over the last couple of weeks that two of Aphex Twin’s early R&S 12″s - Didgeridoo and Xylem Tube - have been re-issued.

Around the time of their original release I was completely obsessed by AFX, and these are two landmark releases.

It all started when my buddy Paul slipped me a cassette of ‘Selected Ambient Works 85-92‘. Until that time I was a confirmed Indie Kid, listening to a lot of American post-Nirvana dross plus the finest the UK had to offer at the time (Err… Neds Atomic Dustbin? Carter USM? Kingmaker?). Yeah well anyway I put this Aphex cassette in my stereo and my ears just yawned wide open, sucking in these beautiful melodies. I’d never heard noises like that before - I just couldn’t believe there was someone on earth making music like this.

I seem to remember Ageispolis having a particular effect on me. Holed up with some cheap hash I listened to it again and again, each time mesmerised by the unfeasibly low bass frequencies coming out of my speakers.

APHEX TWIN - AGEISPOLIS

Like many people I was then confronted with the bewildering array of Aphex records trickling into the shops. Bewildering because of all the aliases he used… such as Brad Strider, AFX, Caustic Window, Universal Indicator and The Dice Man (which led me to unwittingly buy a few dodgy 12″s by another Diceman). In 1992 & 93 Aphex was in a peak of creativity that I can’t believe has been matched by anyone before or since.

There was also of course Polygon Window - the alias Richard used for his second classic album (The equally stunning Analogue Bubblebath 3 can wait for another time!).

If ‘Selected Ambient Works’ sounded like nothing I’d heard before, then ‘Surfing on Sine Waves’ did and still does sound like it could only have been made by aliens. It’s impossible to put my finger on what it is, but I just get a feeling in the pit of my stomach when I listen to it that convinces me that the universe is infinite and that extra terrestrial life is not just possible but probable. It seems to induce physiological changes in me. Which I can’t say of many other records.

POLYGON WINDOW - POLYGON WINDOW

Thing is though, it’s a slightly disturbing feeling. Perhaps this is how Rubber Johnny turned out that way?

So back to the singles…

If you’ve heard Digeridoo you’ll never forget it. Like almost everything else he produced at the time, it just sounds so organic. You just can’t imagine it’s been created by pressing buttons on a computer, or even from rewiring synths. Even as a ferocious acid track it puts you right in the middle of the outback, sounding like something carried to you in the breeze, or in a dream. It’s utterly unique.

APHEX TWIN - DIGERIDOO

The second single, Xylem Tube, is probably even better, containing as it does the jaw-dropping ‘Polynomial-C’. A beautiful piano riff - that’s so complex you can’t imagine anyone actually composing it - is carried along by some stabbing synths… before you’re assaulted by some brutal breakbeats. ‘Braindance’ - the term his label Rephlex coined to describe their work - is a fair description.

APHEX TWIN - POLYNOMIAL-C

I’ve also always loved ‘Tamphax’ from the same EP, which twists a sample from a Tampax advert into a glorious slice of industrial acid…. as indicated by the ‘PH’ that’s found in this & most other track titles from the two EPs.

“Are you one of those girls, for whom time stands still. Once a month?”

APHEX TWIN - TAMPHAX (HEDPHUQ MIX)

If you’re a vinyl buyer and don’t own both of these records then go buy em !!!

If you’re more into CDs then fear not, for both EPs are available in their entirity on the ‘Classics‘ album, also on R&S…. which also includes Richard’s two brutally industrial mixes of ‘Mescalinum United’ and the beautiful ‘Analogue Bubblebath 1′.

Although if you’ve got nothing i’ve mentioned then Selected Ambient works & Polygon Window are the ones to start with!!

Always Wipe From Front to Back

Quite a few months back I stumbled across a band called Mama Shamone at 333, who rocked my socks so much my toes have been getting cold ever since. I’ve been waiting for them to release something, and I finally have a CD of their forthcoming debut single. It’s a double-A side with ‘Over’ and ‘You Got Me’, and both are wicked.

The band have been gigging quite relentlessly round London’s smaller venues recently.. head over to ‘Music like Dirt‘ for some really fantastic photos of a gig at the Rhythm Factory a couple of months ago.

Of the two tracks on the single I prefer ‘You Got Me’, but you should really listen to ‘Over’ as well… head to their myspace for that. But listen to these first.

MAMA SHAMONE - YOU GOT ME

Although the single is great, you really have to see the band live. Frontwoman Mama is a star in the making, and impossible to take your eyes off on stage. She’s also, I seem to remember, a little terrifying.

They’re still playing tiny venues so you can get up close & personal:

Jun 25 2006 9:00P	‘Kill Robot Kill’ @ Hoxton Bar & Grill	London
Jun 29 2006 9:00P	‘Fermer Le Bouche’ @ Bullet Bar	London

Encouragingly, the band also have an x-rated incarnation….

sample lyric “If you wipe from back to front, you’ll end up with a shit filled cunt”

nice!

Hopefully a nipple will help take your mind off that…

Are you in a more fluffy state of mind now?

In that case you’ll be about ready to listen to this:

WARNING - this is the first, last and only time I will ever give a parental advisory warning on a record! If you’re easily offended….. fuck you.

MAMA SHAMONE - GRANDPA

Play it at your next school disco.

On second thoughts, you’d better not.

As far as I can tell, they’re still unsigned. Which seems scandalous. Give ‘em loads of money right now.

This next track is another must-hear (mind you, they’re all must-hears on headphonesex!)…. I can’t count the number of times i’ve listened to it in the last 24 hours!

It really seems the scandinavians have given up on rape & pillage, and are invading our ears instead. For these hairy customers are yet more chancers from Sweden. And they are called Fox ‘n’ Wolf.

RAAAAAARRRRRRR.

I had to be a bit cheeky with this, since I wanted a copy to play tomorrow night I ripped it from Fox ‘n’ Wolf’s myspace page. This is why i’m not sure who did this remix, since the track title is truncated as the JD-somethng mix. JD Twitch from Optimo perhaps? It doesn’t really sound like Optimo, but who knows. Well, maybe someone reading knows. You’re an educated bunch.

I can really see this being this summer’s “We Are Your Friends” - and we can only hope that the song’s chorus of “Put Your Left Hand Up In The Air, And Your Right Hand Down In Yr Underwear” catches on! The new Black Lace?

Ha!

“A DJ without a Black Lace record is not a DJ”

Wise words, mate.

Think i’ll stick that on my gravestone.

Download this now:

FOX ‘N’ WOLF - IN YR UNDERWEAR (JD SOMETHING MIX)

Footy Footy Footy Footy

Ing-Er-Land! Rooney! 5pm! Rum!

this

and

this

Dragon. Raaarrrrrrr.

I might give up on the football posts before I upset every person reading this. My comments were supposed to be tongue-in-cheek but maybe didn’t come across that way. Also I don’t have time. And also before the games are played there’s not really a lot to say that you can’t read in a million other places anyway.

My god though, wasn’t Ronaldo crap this evening. I have never seen a more useless lazy lump in a football shirt in my entire life. And i’ve seen a few at Wycombe.

So back to the tunes, for what you can’t get in a million other places is awesomely funky jams like this.

You know that despite the fact I can’t play the fucked up A-side I loved that Shit Robot single on DFA (that which cannot be mentioned). But this is maybe even better. It’s a bit like Zongamin’s ‘Bongo Song’ but slowed down & stretched out into 11 minutes of spacious funk.

It’s released on Tiny Sticks records (also home to Mock & Toof) and you should buy it.

DONDOLO - FIRE BREATHING (SHIT ROBOT REMIX)

It’s 20MB though… just so you know.

New Banksys

This is a great new Banksy that’s popped up in Bristol…..

There’s been a few new stencils in London recently as well.

This one on the side of the poncey White Cube gallery

there’s another version of that in Chalk Farm

There’s also this on Pentonville Road

That same kid has popped up in a few places. This is on Tottenham Court Road, and there’s another outside Cargo in Shoreditch.

Bottom three photos from Art of the State

Also love this from Wooster Collective

It’s by a guy called Mark Jenkins

Forget the Sweat

I am feeling a little guilty for inflicting tedious football predictions on y’all instead of sharing orgasmatronic musical delights.

But to be honest (as in Germany) it’s been so oppresively hot here I’ve had little inclination to do much except hole up on the sofa with beer & football.

But I have found time to listen to some hot new shit and some of it is here.

First is this new mix of Tiga by Boys Noize… who have suddently appeared with loads of great records & remixes recently. I didn’t really enjoy Tiga’s album ‘Sexor’ all that much, particularly in light of some of the great records that preceded it. But like Goldfrapp’s ‘Supernature’ it’s obviously provided some excellent source material from some choice remixers, cos some of the mixes from the album have been great.

This one is like Justice meets some early-90s hardcore and is rather great.

Whistle Posse make some noise!

TIGA - MOVE MY BODY (BOYS NOIZE REMIX)

As if to prove that wearing White Jeans and raving are indeed the things that fashionable people are doing nowadays, KLAXONS have exploded into my consciousness recently, causing me to sex wee with delight. 20JazzFunkGreats were as usual tipping them for greatness before they’d even had their first rehearsal. However I am less on the pulse than childrens television.

For there I was on Saturday morning watching Channel 4’s ‘Popworld’ for the first time ever. (Rather entertaining it was too… I enjoyed the ‘What’s Your Favourite Biscuit’ interview with Lordi!) When a Klaxons video suddenly appeared on screen ready to convert the nation’s teenagers into an army of day-glo raving punk rockers.

That video was for their new single, ‘Atlantis to Interzone’, which you can hear on their myspace page. You can also supposedly see the video here but it didn’t seem to work when I just tried it. Technical difficulties. Like i’ve been getting with fucking blogger every day lately (grrr…)

Now this is a remix of their debut single by Nottingham’s Nightmoves. And goddam is this the shit. Starting out a bit like Vitalic’s ‘My Friend Dario’ it then gets in equal parts more ravey and more rock & roll before a jack yr body climax to wave your arms about to.

KLAXONS - GRAVITY’S RAINBOW (NIGHTMOVES MIX)

If you’ve not heard the original version then you should watch the video too.